Some Philosophy Jokes

Some of these are fairly lame, I admit. And some are clever but opaque to the philosophically uninitiated. See if you can figure them out before I explain any of them. (I wouldn't want to spoil a good joke with premature commentary.)


Don't put Descartes before the horse.

One day Descartes walked into a pub and ordered a coffee. The server asked him, "Do you want that with cream and sugar?" Descartes answered, "I think not", and abruptly ceased to exist.

What did the pantheist say to the hot dog vendor? ... Make me one with everything.

Have you heard about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? ... He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Who's the most egotistal type of person conceivable? ... A pantheistic solipsist.